Advocating at the ARD Table: A Parent’s Perspective + 10 Tips to Grow as an Advocate

Today, I want to share my story as Fernando and Leo’s mom, my experience at ARD meetings, and offer 10 tips to help other parents grow as advocates at the ARD table.

As a professional, I had sat in my fair share of ARD meetings. But nothing prepares you for your first ARD meeting as a parent. In November 2022, my husband and I found ourselves in a small, cramped room surrounded by professionals. For an hour, they talked about everything that was “wrong” with our son. As I silently cried and my husband’s leg wouldn’t stop shaking, they handed us paperwork and asked us to sign off on a formal evaluation of our boy.

Then came January 2023. We walked back into that same room, and the list continued—more deficits, more concerns. They told us what services he qualified for, and then informed us there was no room for him at that school. Again, I cried.

That night, I came home and started reading all the blogs. I joined every Facebook group I could find and stayed up for hours reading the TEA Procedural Safeguards. I spent the next few days looking for a new school for Fernando. And during our transition meeting at the new campus, I no longer cried.

Instead, I spoke up.

Through my research, I became empowered. One piece of advice stood out to me more than any other: “Don’t be afraid to speak up. You know your child best.”

Since November 2022, I’ve lost count of how many ARD meetings I’ve attended. Because just like my child is constantly growing and evolving, so are his needs—and his supports should grow with him. As his advocate, it’s my responsibility to make sure his accommodations reflect who he is today. I am a vital part of his team.

10 Tips to Grow as an Advocate at the ARD Table:

1. Request the draft IEP and an agenda ahead of time.
   If the school doesn’t provide one, you have every right to reschedule, or bring your own agenda to the table.
2. Don’t go to an ARD alone.
   Bring your partner, a friend, an advocate, or a grandparent. ARD meetings can be emotional. Sometimes, you just need someone to squeeze your hand.
3. Ask for specific, measurable goals.
   For example: “Within 6 months, the student will identify the main topic of a paragraph with 80% accuracy, as measured by teacher observation.”
4. Know your rights and don’t be afraid to pause the meeting.
   You can say: “I need more time to review this before I can agree.”
5. Make sure your child’s IEP fits them.
   You know your child best. Cookie-cutter plans don’t work for individualized needs.
6. Write a Parent Statement.
   Share your child’s strengths and remind the team: your child is a whole person, not just a list of deficits.
7. Know that you BELONG at the table.
   You’re not a guest, you’re a required and valued team member.
8. Ask for clarification.
   If you don’t understand something, speak up: “Can you explain that in plain language?”
9. Take notes and ask for the meeting to be recorded.
   The ARD facilitator can record it or provide you with a copy. Keep your own records too.
10. Use the power of parent input to request services.
    Your concerns must be documented in the IEP. If you want specific supports, additional evaluations, or parent training say it, and put it in writing.

While our story centers on autism, these lessons and advocacy tips are relevant for any parent or caregiver navigating special education services, whether due to autism, a pediatric brain injury, or another diagnosis. The emotions, the need to speak up, and the fight for appropriate supports are universal in these systems. No matter the reason you’re at the ARD table, you deserve to be heard, and your child deserves a plan tailored to their needs. This journey isn’t easy, but your voice matters. You don’t need to know every law or acronym to be an effective advocate. You just need to show up, speak from the heart, and trust that you know your child best.